How To Choose Your Ideal Partner

Everyone interested in being in a romantic relationship wants to be with the right person for them. Some people call this type of person their “soulmate”, others call them “their better halves”.

People want authentic relationships with those who understand and love them for who they truly are.

Unfortunately, this isn't true for most people. Around 99% of individuals find themselves in relationships with people they often regret starting.

But the last 1% A.K.A the lucky few?

These set of people experience the joy of being with a partner they can call their soulmate

Their secret?

They know how to vet potential romantic partners properly using the 3Cs.

The 3Cs is a process very few people know and even fewer know how to apply correctly.

Fortunately, I’ve not only had practice using the different aspects of the 3Cs myself, but I’ve taught it to my clients who needed it during our 1-on-1 coaching sessions.

Strap in because you are in for a treat!

MY TWO CENTS 🧠

One thing you have to know, understand and accept is that everyone is not for you. They can be a good person and still be wrong for you.

Knowing how to vet potential romantic partners properly will save you from heartache.

A major technique I teach my clients to use is the 3C’s.

The 3C’s are chemistry, compatibility and connection.

Let me explain in detail.

Chemistry
This is the art of getting along with someone A.K.A. flowing with someone in a conversation. To have chemistry with someone all you need to have is an interest in a particular topic, activity, hobby or thing, a decent knowledge base in that topic, activity or thing and the ability to carry out and hold a decent conversation with an individual. That’s it!
Chemistry with someone can be created and destroyed. Once you lose interest in whatever topic, field, activity or thing you discuss with that person, the chemistry with that person fades over time.
Having chemistry with someone happens on a very shallow level. You do not talk about your problems or feelings with the person. Your conversations with someone you have chemistry with are strictly centred around your common interest.

Compatibility
This is a step deeper than chemistry. You are compatible with someone you have shared values and beliefs with. Beliefs are what we think are true, while values are the principles for our behaviour. People in the same country, who share the same culture, and have the same religion and values are compatible, while people who don’t are not compatible.
Here’s the thing, your beliefs and values can change over time due to new information, new life experiences, a shift in perspectives and other reasons.
When your beliefs and values diverge from someone you once shared them with, you are no longer compatible with that person.
A costly mistake people make when testing for compatibility is ignoring values and beliefs and focusing solely on personality traits because of the “opposites attracts” quote. Don’t be like those people.

Connection
This is the holy grail of human relationships. This is much deeper than “feelings”. You don’t just have this with anybody. When you're truly connected with someone, you see each other for who you “truly” are, not just the image you both present to the world. You love each other genuinely and enjoy each other’s company without distractions.
Connection is hard to create with someone because it takes not just a long period but a consistent effort from both of you to create it.

QUICK ANNOUNCEMENT 📢

The slots for my weekly coaching sessions are now open. Choose success in your love life here

I’m opening up my coaching program soon. In it, I show my clients how to attract the right partner. I will only be accepting 3 people for now. You can indicate your interest in being one of the lucky 3 here

YOUR PLAYBOOK 📕

Chemistry involves your charisma, personality, interest and knowledge in a particular topic, field, hobby or activity. As long as you are genuinely interested in a thing, have adequate knowledge of that thing, and have decent conversational skills, you can create chemistry with anyone interested in the same thing you’re interested in.

Since compatibility is based on your values and beliefs, it’s harder to create, unlike chemistry. The only way you can make someone compatible with you is to slowly indoctrinate them into your values and belief system which I do not recommend. Your best route forward is associating yourself with people with the same values and beliefs as you. An easy way is via location hacking. Go where people who believe what you believe hang out, then talk to random people in the venue to see who you have chemistry with.

Connection is created through genuine intimacy. Genuine intimacy contains 5 types of intimacy—physical, experiential, emotional, intellectual and spiritual—which happens over time. The “quickest” way I recommend building a connection with someone is through genuine friendship. Think about it, if someone is truly your friend it means to a reasonable extent they already have interests in some—if not most—of all the things you are interested in. They also share the same beliefs and have the same values as you.

If you’re reading this and you think you already have a connection with a potential romantic partner, here are 3 ways to know;

1. You are your authentic self when you’re around them and you have no need to pretend to be someone else to get love and affection from them. They are also the same way with you.

2. You both enjoy each other’s company for long periods without distraction and are still in love with each other.

3. Honest, effective, transparent and kind communication exists between the both of you.

These 3 things must have been present consistently for a reasonable period i.e. above 9 months.

Again, I’m re-iterating the point I made earlier. Not everyone is for you. On your journey to finding your ideal romantic partner, you will meet very good people who are not “right” for you and very wrong people who will “feel” right for you.

This is where the 3Cs will come in handy. Use this knowledge as a sieve to help vet potential romantic interests.

HOW I ADD VALUE TO YOU

I’d help you attract your ideal romantic partner and maintain a fulfilling relationship effortlessly with my 3-pronged approach;

My personalized 1-on-1 coaching program. It aims to show you how to vet prospective romantic partners properly and teach you the skills needed to effortlessly be the type of person that attracts the right kind of partner for you.

Sharing the secrets happy couples use to make their romantic relationship healthy, strong and successful via this FREE weekly email newsletter, my YouTube channel and other social media platforms I’m on. This approach is aimed to arm you with the right knowledge and insights to maintain your happy, healthy functional relationship with your partner. My username on all platforms is @chikeoranye. You can find me on these platforms: X, Facebook, Instagram, Threads, Bluesky, TikTok and LinkedIn.

Equip you with the skills to seamlessly overcome pitfalls and unforeseen challenges that can ruin or destroy your romantic relationships via a combination of the digital products I sell and one-off coaching sessions with me.

END CREDITS 📃

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