- Relationship Laws By Chike Oranye
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WHAT’S UP, SCIENTISTS!!! 👨🏽⚕️
I know…I know, I was absent for two weeks. Here’s the reason.
I was kidnapped and held for ransom. My kidnappers demanded $200,000 for my release.
But I escaped by dislocating my wrist, picking the lock of my cell, strangling the guard while asleep in the dead of night, and running through the jungle for five miles before I found a police station where I explained my situation and made it safely back home.
That’s the story I tell people who ask about my absence to sound cool and mysterious. But since I made a promise to always be honest with you guys in my community, here is the truth.
I fell sick. I can’t get into details of the illness not because I want to be mysterious or private, but because I honestly do not know what was wrong with me. Instead of going to the hospital like a “lil bitch” I decided to thug it out like a “real nigga” 😤.
Was that reckless of me? maybe. Could I have recovered in a few days instead of the twelve days it took for my body to fully recover if I had gone to the hospital and taken medications prescribed to me by a doctor?
The point is I’m better now and typing away.
Anyhoo…here’s to me not dying from whatever was wrong with me and you being alive to read this week’s newsletter.
This topic was sparked by the complete mess in today's world of dating, relationships, and marriages.
Many people in romantic relationships, and unfortunately even marriages, don't really understand what love truly means. But I won't dive into that topic here, as I've already discussed it. You can find my thoughts and opinions on the matter here.
Today, let's talk about the various types of love. The English language, for lack of a better term, can be quite inflexible. It struggles to adjust words for different situations, which often leads to misunderstandings.
Take the word "love," for instance. We hear people say, "I love watching football," "I love flowers," "I love my wife," and "I love my children." The strange thing is that all these phrases could be spoken by the same person in one conversation with just one individual. But as you've just read, there's no distinction between the type and depth of love the person feels for football, flowers, their spouse, and their kids. This limitation in the English language can be a bit frustrating. That's why it's important to understand the various types of love, what they mean, and when to use them appropriately.
Anyway, enough jibber jabber, Let's begin!!!
MY THOUGHTS 🧠
There are five major kinds of love when it comes to romantic relationships and marriages in my opinion.
1.) Eros: This is the kind of love most people have when they say “I love you”. This kind of love is characterised by feelings of physical attraction, desire and sexual tension. This is the kind of love responsible for the continuation of our species for without it, women would not want a “mate” for life and men wouldn’t go out of their way to “mate” with women. This kind of love is the entire foundation of onlyfans and the porn industry.
Eros is usually very intense. It can be so intense that it makes people stupid. This kind of love is the reason the quote “love is blind” is so popular.
2.) Philia: This kind of love is what people feel for their friends, companions, work colleagues and teammates. Its foundation is based on trust and mutual respect. This kind of love has no feelings of physical attraction, desire and sexual tension.
Sadly this is the type of love women feel for 99.9% of their male friends 😂😭💀.
3.) Storge: This kind of love is what parents feel for their children and what siblings feel for each other. This is the most natural of loves. It’s usually unconditional and involves approval, protection, sacrifice, and acceptance, and is rooted in family bonds.
This type of love is why even though you cannot stand your siblings, you’d give them your kidney if they need it without thinking twice.
4.) Pragma: This kind of love is characterised by practicality and compatibility. It heavily relies on the rational aspects of a relationship such as shared values, life goals, and mutual benefits. Pragma is the kind of love that develops between two people who actively seek a partnership that aligns with their long-term objectives and where both individuals contribute to the relationship in a balanced and meaningful way.
5.) Agape: This kind of love is the highest kind there is. This is the selfless, unconditional and sacrificial kind of love. This kind of love seeks the well-being, happiness, and best interests of others without expecting anything in return.
Agape kind of love relies on consistent and daily actions backed up by one’s willingness and commitment to selflessly love their romantic partner. This kind of love is what is expected in marriage.
Now that you have a rough idea of the five kinds of love, the big question is how do you apply it in your love life to make it better?
Well, here’s my 2 cents…
THE GAMEPLAN ⛹🏾♂️
When you start feeling any kind of "love" for someone, take your time and get help from a neutral person. Think about your feelings using the five types of love.
If someone tells you they love you and they want to be in a romantic relationship with you, ask them to explain in detail what type of love they mean and why they feel that way.
Listen carefully to their reasons. If you're not sure, ask a wise and impartial person for advice.
In my experience, when people enter romantic relationships for the wrong reasons, they often end up with the wrong person. That's why it's important to examine their reasons, especially if you want to avoid future heartache and therapy costs.
If you're happy with their reasons, watch their actions for the kind of love they truly have for you, not just their words. It usually takes around 90-180 days to see.
You're welcome!!! 😌
CASE STUDY 📚
Based on what you know now, what kind of love do you think they feel for their love interests? 🤔
COMMUNITY SQUARE 👫
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