- Relationship Laws By Chike Oranye
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- Intimacy vs Intensity: Why it's crucial you know the difference.
Intimacy vs Intensity: Why it's crucial you know the difference.
Chike Oranye
July 02, 2023
WHAT’S UP, SCIENTISTS!!! 👨🏽⚕️
From the questions I get from people globally, including some of you in this community, It’s painfully obvious that a lot of people do not know the difference between genuine intimacy and intense emotions in their romantic relationships. Knowing this difference would save you a lot of heartache and misery in the future.
The sad part is that emotional intensity at first often mimics intimacy and gives the added benefit of the ever-sought-after “emotional high”.
So this week’s newsletter aims to set the record straight concerning these two concepts once and for all.
Let’s begin!!!
MY THOUGHTS 🧠
Intimacy means giving yourself wholly to someone you love.
Being intimate with someone means sharing your body, mind and soul with that person. This means sharing the most profound darkest pieces of yourself you hide from the world. It also means sharing your dreams, fears, inspirations, strengths, weaknesses, flaws, abilities, potential, habits, low moments, talents etc.
Being intimate with someone means you are known by that person wholly because they know every aspect of you. Intimacy means being completely naked and vulnerable with someone. Intimacy is what I like to call absolute nakedness.
I believe it was this form of intimacy Adam had with his wife, Eve.
And the man and his wife were both naked, but they were not ashamed.
Intimacy means giving another person a comprehensive manual on what makes you tick and how to hurt you if they choose to. This is why sex is not the full scope of intimacy.
Being intimate with someone is the only way you’d feel truly loved and is the only way to love someone truly. We all desire to be loved for who we are, but we can’t be loved for who we are if we never reveal ourselves to those we choose to love and be loved by.
Emotional intensity on the other hand is a sham. A fraudulent, caricature of the original thing it tries to mimic. (intimacy). Emotional intensity hovers and stays in the shallow realm.
It gives the illusion of intimacy by pulling the strings that are called “feelings”. Its goal is to leave the people in the relationship in a perpetual heightened state of emotional intensity and excitement.
The cycle of emotional intensity always goes from heightened states of excitement, then desire and finally conflict.
Couples with only emotional intensity and a lack of true intimacy will always experience drama in their relationship.
THE GAMEPLAN ⛹🏾♂️
Here are 7 signs I highly recommend you can use to identify genuine intimacy in your romantic relationship;
Emotional openness: Look for consistent signs of emotional openness and vulnerability, between you and your partner. This means that both of you are very comfortable with sharing what you both feel (both positive and negative emotions) and you share them in a loving and understanding way. You also feel very comfortable sharing your true thoughts and feelings with your partner.
Trust and reliability: Assess whether your relationship is built on a foundation of trust and reliability. i.e. you both can depend on each other.
Deep understanding: Observe if there is a genuine understanding between you and your romantic partner. Do you both fully understand each other’s needs, desires, and values and not just have shallow assumptions about them?
Emotional support: Check if there is consistent emotional support and validation between you and your romantic partner, especially during times of turmoil or challenges in your lives.
Effective communication: Evaluate the quality of communication between you and your significant other. Check if both you and your partner listen attentively, express yourselves honestly, and work towards resolving conflicts in a loving, understanding and amicable way consistently.
Shared experiences: Assess whether there are shared experiences and activities that contribute to a sense of togetherness and connection between you and your significant other.
Long-term compatibility: Consider whether there is alignment in long-term goals, values, and visions for the future between you and your partner.
P.S.: I’m working on a book that gives you the blueprint to have deeper connections with your lover 😉.
You can signal your interest in getting the book at a 30% discount before it goes live to the general public here.
Until next time…bye for now
STORIES THAT TOUCH 💔
Did she use me to create the family she always dreamed of?
Find out the shocking truth in this captivating story here
COMMUNITY SQUARE 👫
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