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More Relationship Red Flags To Avoid
Chike Oranye
May 19, 2024
GRIPE OF THE DAY
On today’s issue, we’d be tackling:
Relationship signs that can be classified as red flags
How to deal with them
Let’s begin!!!
THE BREAKDOWN
If you’re new here
Welcome!
Long-time OG’s in this community know that the rule of thumb established here is that red flags are never-ending.
As the years progress and generations come and go, humans will always think of new ways to be mean to each other in different spheres of life and romantic relationships aren’t exempted.
In this light, here are 6 more red flags I’ve come across in my coaching sessions with clients;
1. Things develop too fast
This red flag manifests before you start or enter into a romantic relationship with them. This red flag can come in the following ways;
If they are overly interested in you.
They are aware and tell you about their serious intentions with you quite early in the “getting to know you” phase of the mating dance.
Confess their love for you in the “getting to know you phase” of the mating dance and they claim you’re their “soul mate” (P.S. Be especially wary of this sign because it shows the person doesn’t even know what they want or who they are).
All forms of love bombing (This is a technique loved by narcissists everywhere, I’ll share more information on this later).
2. Arrogance
A lot of people confuse self-confidence and arrogance. Here’s how you spot the difference;
Self-confident individuals believe in themselves and their abilities. They don't need other people to praise them. They are very comfortable with who they are and what you can do.
Arrogant people on the other hand, like feeling overly sure of themselves, almost to the point where they think they’re better than everyone else.
They like to talk about how amazing they are and look down on others because they don't think anyone else measures up to them.
The key difference between the two is how they treat others and where their confidence comes from.
Self-confidence is healthy because it's about knowing your worth and being okay with it. It's not about putting others down or needing constant praise from them.
Arrogance is usually a mindset of feeling superior to others to feel good about yourself. It can come off as rude or disrespectful because it's based on a need to prove you're better than everyone else.
3. They are always the victim
These are the type of people that like telling sob stories about how they have been consistently screwed over by people in the past in one way or another.
They are always the good person in their past relationship story. People like this tend to be charming and loving but have no good experiences in any relationship with other people.
They usually have no long-term friends and have difficult relationships with their parents and other family members.
They never blame themselves for anything. It’s usually someone else’s fault. Oh! and their exes are always evil manipulative controlling narcissists.
4. Self-centredness
The trait of extreme levels of self-centredness is usually associated with people who have narcissistic personality disorder.
People with N.P.P. need admiration from others. This need then manifests itself in behaviour that screams for attention.
It resembles that “look at me, look at me” behaviour in kids who seek validation from their parents.
This red flag manifests in the following ways;
They tend to exaggerate their accomplishments consistently.
They are conversation hogs and like to steer conversations to themselves.
They are never really invested in any story they are not the centre of attraction.
They pay little to no attention to other people’s accomplishments nor do they genuinely congratulate them.
5. Control & Manipulation
This red flag is usually not seen until much later in the relationship. Control and manipulation are not always direct.
Nowadays it usually starts as romantic and caring behaviour then quickly changes to being “overly caring”.
Other ways this red flag manifests itself are;
When they consistently make decisions for you—usually without your consent or knowledge and expect you to be grateful
When they use threats—usually emotional—to make you do what they want or behave how they want you to.
When they manipulate your feelings using guilt whenever you do something they don’t like or behave in a way they do not want.
COMMUNITY UPDATES
The slots for my weekly coaching sessions are now open. Choose success in your love life here
YOUR PLAYBOOK
Here’s the best approach I recommend to tackle each of the red flags:
When they try to speed things up or fast-track the “getting to know you” phase to be in a relationship with you as soon as possible,
S-L-O-W
T-H-I-N-G-S
D-O-W-N
Do not fall for the trap.
Go through the vetting process thoroughly before letting them into your life in such a close way.
Remain friends until you’re sure they’re a right fit for you romantically and for life in general.
When dealing with arrogant people, walk away. Trust me, they are not worth the headache. And no! You cannot change them.
When dealing with people that like playing victim, call them out on their bullshit.
But do so respectfully and empathetically. For example, the person’s name in this scenario is Joel. You can go like “Hey, Joel…you are the problem. Own your shit”. This template hasn’t failed me yet.
When dealing with self-centred and manipulative people, walk away and create healthy boundaries to keep them out.
These types of people can corrupt how you see the world and people.
They can make you unkind, bitter, angry and cynical.
COMMUNITY PERKS
As a valued community member, I can assist you in effortlessly attracting your ideal romantic partner and nurturing a satisfying relationship through my simple 3-step method and services;
1. Through the Love Navigator program. It is a tailored coaching program to help you confidently navigate the dating scene. This program will teach you the art of vetting potential romantic partners and mastering the skills to become irresistible to your ideal match. You can express your interest in embarking on this transformative journey here.
You can also opt-in for personalized one-off coaching sessions with me to tackle your romantic relationship challenges and get your personalised roadmap for relationship success.
2. Through this FREE email newsletter, my YouTube channel, and various social media platforms I have an account with, I consistently share the unspoken rules, principles and secrets that guide healthy romantic relationships.
P.S. Follow @chikeoranye on X, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, LinkedIn Threads and Bluesky to stay connected.
3. Through my digital product offerings. They are the tools you need to conquer any obstacle that may arise to threaten your relationship's harmony.
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